Surely you're pulling my leg. The sitch and the 16 and Pregnant poster child were chosen by Candies as the spokespeople for their abstinence campaign? I can only think the executives at Candies are pointing at pictures of the average American and laughing like humans do at the gorilla exhibits, "look, they're so funny." Selecting these two as models for abstinence is like letting magic Johnson teach teenagers about wearing condoms, or Jeffrey Dahmer being selected by PETA as vegetarian of the 20th century, or Lindsay Lohan leading the anti-penis campaign. I'm 32 years old and I've never witnessed something less rational. Holy smokes, I've never been more over two numbskulls.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Surely you're pulling my leg. The sitch and the 16 and Pregnant poster child were chosen by Candies as the spokespeople for their abstinence campaign? I can only think the executives at Candies are pointing at pictures of the average American and laughing like humans do at the gorilla exhibits, "look, they're so funny." Selecting these two as models for abstinence is like letting magic Johnson teach teenagers about wearing condoms, or Jeffrey Dahmer being selected by PETA as vegetarian of the 20th century, or Lindsay Lohan leading the anti-penis campaign. I'm 32 years old and I've never witnessed something less rational. Holy smokes, I've never been more over two numbskulls.
Monday, November 15, 2010
We were really concerned with the Y2K the last time I dreamed about making the sex with Gwyneth Paltrow. Specifically, it was right after I saw Great Expectations and before Shakespeare in Love. Anyway, tomorrow night she's on that show all all my gay friends (except you JB), tell me to watch. Now I haven't seen one episode of Glee, but I have to admit, this seems really entertaining. I'm not ashamed to admit my affection for show tunes and top 40. I'm not sold on this Garth Brooks/Chris Gaines transformation Gwyneth is working on, however. In her country song I can't help but think of The Upper East Side when she sings about the "Ground she grew up on". Surely when she refers to being Country Strong, she's referring to New York's United Nations Building on the East River. Yeah, I know she's playing a character, but come on guys. This movie looks ri-GD-diculous. I'd rather someone slam a hot poker into my eye. Stick with Cee-Lo Green...that, I can tolerate.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Antique Roadshow Record Item - Watch more Funny Videos
Antique Road Show is about as entertaining as a botched circumcision, but on this episode, this redneck lady gets the best news since two Saturdays ago when her winning Bingo number was called out at the VFW while she was eating a bag of Funyuns and burning heaters. Sometimes in life things just start going your way and something tells me that there's a trailer that will be improved property when taxes are reassessed; after all, 1 million dollar in Chinese antiques can buy a ton of mountable talking fish, rear-view mirror hanging Dreamcatchers, Crocs, or WWF Pay-Per-View events.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
You're angry because you want your higher level education to cost less. Since the government already subsidizes your education, pays for your healthcare and allows you to retire at 60 (France), despite the government and your currency being crippled by socialistic handouts and stipends, you still want more? What's the logical thing to do? Riot...if you're a retarded liberal in England. Today, they're throwing fire extinguishers off the roof of six story buildings protesting higher tuition costs. Several police officers have been hospitalized. Let's recap: You're so angry that you're not getting enough shit for free, you riot and turn to violence. Is that what our world's leading nations have become? Have hard work and sacrifice been replaced by violence, socialism and an entitlement mentality? I'm disgusted by these actions. France riots because the retirement age was raised and it's 60. Seriously? England students now riot because education costs COULD be raised. News flash dipshits...your utopian European union is broke. Flat broke and busted. Just like America, were not playing with monopoly money. This is big boy/big girl economics. You can't keep spending money you don't have. I know fiscal responsibility addresses a concept most liberals can't conceptualize, but its true. It's analogous to the obesity pandemic. Just like burning more calories than you consume causes weightloss, spending more than you take in causes economic peril and nations to collapse. It's not rocket science, and to the people with excuses, it's not genetic. It's logic. It's math. Plain and simple.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kim Zolciak Tries To Sing
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When I said Kanye West was talentless, I hadn't seen this video. The fact that this woman represents Atlanta in any way is disgusting. I can harass my dog enough until he starts to howl, and yet still, he carries more tunes than this hag. Surely she knows she's awful. God, how on Earth could you not. I'd rather be subjected to 12 hours of sounds from the electric chair than this heinous woman. If I close my eyes, she sounds eerily like a wildebeest getting raped by a water buffalo. If we're lucky, she'll get clipped by a MARTA train going to her next "studio session". If you watch one minute of this show, I officially hate you.
Conan O'Brien debuted his show last night on TBS to fantastic ratings. In fact, he beat out Letterman and Leno. To be frank, I couldn't care less if any of them ever recorded another show, but I guess if I had to pick one, Conan would be the only one I would wish success on. I guess more specifically, he's the one I hate the least. Leno is fat piece of annoying...well you know. Letterman is so liberal, he can't through one show without vomiting his political agenda on his viewers. Conan was just the dork in high school and got his break. He's been tossed around by NBC and Leno so at the very least, I wish him success just because I know his success explodes Leno's huge chin and head with anger. Regardless of what happens though, this opening skit from last night's show was brilliant.
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