Emmy Rossum is a Hollywood enigma...

Granted, I barely even know who Emmy Rossum is. All I know is that she played Christine in the horrible screen adaptation of Phantom of the Opera. She's made the blog before and trust me, she a rocket. I just can't figure out why girls like this aren't super famous. She's really sexy. She's obviously talented. So she struggles, while other girls like Megan Fox get role after role to decimate at the box office. Emmy Rossum can't really get...

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Not eating meat doesn't make you cooler, it just makes you anemic and pass out more

I'm not sure what it is about vegetarians that I hate. I think it's just their obnoxiousness, or maybe it's just their overall outlook on life. I just don't trust people that don't eat meat. Just like I don't trust people that can't swear effectively, or those that don't drink alcohol. I'm not sayin if you don't do those things you're a bad person, I just personally don't trust you. Vegetarians for me take the cake though. God, through a wonderful...

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Tom Cruise's couch jumping days are over...Knight and Day will be a big hit.

Some people on this Earth just have "it". I hate to say it. It actually pains me to say it, but Tom Cruise is one of those guys. Wednesday night I went to see Knight and Day and granted, the movie isn't a Soderbergh or a Chrisotpher Nolan, but what it is is fun and damn entertaining. I didn't even want to like Tom Cruise, but I couldn't help it. He was engaging, surprisingly charismatic and very funny. If you're looking for something to walk away from inspired or intrigued, even sad or confused, trust me, this isn't it. In fact, save your...

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Hung like a...

Byron Christopher Jordan was apparently caught in the act Tuesday morning by the owner of the horses, who called Covington police. Jordan was charged with bestiality, a felony in Georgia, and with giving an officer a false name.Lt. Wendell Wagstaff told the Covington News that Jordan was wearing only dirty pajama bottoms with the fly open. He also reportedly had a strong odor, according to the report.There are so many things wrong with this story,...

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Megan Fox lights box office on fire...

Megan Fox couldn't sell kiddie porn to Michael Jackson. Everything she touches turns to FAIL. She's ignorant, arrogant, talentless, and ungrateful. I know you're probably growing tired of my rants about this chick, but I can't help myself. It's just that she's so easy to loathe. Jonah Hex finished the weekend in 8th place. 8TH. That's 8th behind, Toy Story 3, The Karate Kid, The A-Team, Get Him to the Greek, Shrek, Prince of Persia, and Killers....

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The Rape Axe name seems applicable...

South Africa plays host to this year's World Cup. Aside from that though, South African men enjoy being rapist. In fact, a study by Interpol, the international police agency, has revealed that South Africa leads the world in rapes. A woman is raped in South Africa every 17 seconds. Sadly, this did not include the number of child rape victims, which is quote high. Tragically, so little is known about safe sex and HIV, that some believe raping a...

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Isn't Emo trying not to be like somebody, being like somebody?

Emo and goth kids are effing dumbasses. Look we know you're so hard. Ohhh....so scary with that chain attached to your wallet holding your library card or your comic book membership. If your parents paid any attention to you, we all wouldn't be punished with Hot Topic. This dumbass kid in this video cracks me up. "We're not a gang at all. Like, gangs are posers. They just want attention. The pack, we're a family. We go to each other for our problems." It's truly hard to believe that people can be this stupid. Gangs are posers? They...

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Megan Fox is box office poison Part 2

Megan Fox sucks so bad that despite her alleged Jolie "rip-off" good looks, she can't sell a movie to save her life. It's just another example of why I hate Hollywood so much. This chick has already made enough coin to get three more tattoos and buy God knows what else, but she hasn't proven a damn thing. Tom Cruise may be bat shit crazy, but at least he sells tickets. Girls like Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, etc should never move away from playing the hot chick with minimal lines in summer blockbuster movies most likely headed to...

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Finally, I have the perfect tribute to US soccer.

I've been trying to think of a perfect tribute to the US soccer team for their mediocre, but sufficient performance against England in Saturday's World Cup match. I don't hate soccer. I just don't completely get it. Soccer is like playing Atari when you have a PS3. It's still fun, but there's way better. Soccer is played worldwide, sure. The reason for that is simple. It's cheap. You need a ball and two sticks to shoot between. If I have...

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psst...call me.

Here is Ashley Greene doing what she does best...punishing me with her undeniable sexiness. I'm not sure what magazine this is, but who cares, it's Ashley Greene. Honestly, I'm not even sure if she'll ever be in another movie after Twilight. In fact, I'm not even sure if she can act, because I black out from furious self gratification every time her face hits the silver screen. She's has that angular look that's like a sexier, less pedophilic...

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This is an amazing opportunity for stupid white people...

Los Angeles is now offering LA Gang Tours. This is the one chance uncool white people get to see how their favorite rap artists grew up. The mission of LA GANG TOURS is to provide an unforgettable historical experience for our customers with a customized high-end specialty tour. We will provide customers with a true first-hand encounter of the history and origin of high profile gang areas and the top crime scene locations in South Central, Los...

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Biggest badass ever.

An ailing American on a solo mission to kill Usama bin Laden was going for his "last hurrah" when he flew to Pakistan to hunt the master terrorist, but he was detained by Pakistani police before he found his prey.Gary Brooks Faulkner, a 50-year-old construction contractor from Colorado, was picked up in a remote forest near the Pakistan/Afghanistan border carrying a pistol, a 40-inch sword and night-vision equipment, according to Pakistani police.Though...

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I'm not even sure this is human.

Keeping with the theme of being a week late, Erin Andrews, of Dancing with the Stars, twittered a picture of her spray tanned feet. Look, I'm not one of those attention seeking A-Holes that pretend to almost vomit when they see feet, or God forbid, feet touch them. I've always hated people like that. Feet aren't the cleanest of things, but most of the time those people don't have problems forgetting condoms when playing with dirty vaginas and...

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Kelly Brook fulfills my fantasies...

Despite this coming about a week late, Kelly Brook announced that she wanted to take her clothes off for me Playboy for 500,000 dollars. MailOnline reports:The 30-year-old, who boasts a 34E cup size, will pose for arty and tasteful nude shots on a shoot in the Mediterranean later this month.Her agent Jonathan Shalit told the Mail Online that Kelly was delighted to have been chosen.He said: She's absolutely thrilled. It's such a great honour for her,...

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Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Mommie!!!!!!!

Someone the press is calling 23 year old Lindsay Lohan, showed up at the MTV awards last night to scare the shit out of everyone. If this girl is 23, my testes have a black belt in jiu-jitsu. My mom is 59 years old and looks 10 years younger than this chick. It would be more likely that I get stranded on a island with Kelly Brook and Cheryl Cole than this chick living to 30. She's aging in dog years, if dogs could get smoke and do dru...

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Ken Griffey Jr Retires

Ken Griffey JR Tribute Welcome Back - The best video clips are right hereKen Griffey Jr is without question, the most gifted baseball player I ever saw in person. His effortless swing coupled with his powerful athleticism made him one of the most feared hitters over the last 20 seasons. His defense was off the charts. He won a Golden Glove every year in the 1990's. He hit 630 homeruns in his career and was absolutely plagued by injury. I don't know, but based on his body then vs now, he's probably one of the few clean superstars throughout...

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Living Miami = Loco

Miami must be a really liberal place. Don't get me wrong, I love Miami. I've been to South Beach. I've been to the Delano. I've been to Mango's. Miami Living Magazine printed an ad for Establishedmen.com, whatever the hell that is, and boy did they "ERR" on the opposite side of subtle. Miami women seem to be missing out on monster ghost penises. I'm a rather accepting adult, but I'm pretty sure that my sweet little grandmother isn't the only...

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It's also not nice to murder people...

Right now 11:05pm EST, this worthless piece of sh!t is running for his life somewhere in South America. The only way true justice could come to this murderer would be if he were caught after a few weeks of being terrified, alone, and broke, and the parents of the two innocent girls he murdered were allowed to use blowguns to shoot darts dipped in tetrodotoxin at his scrotum. I don't think there's a chance this spoiled little bitch will kill himself,...

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Can't say I didn't tell you so...

Megan Fox was photographed over the weekend in Hawaii. Let's just say, I know now why she relies on photoshop. I'm not sayin' but I'm just sayin' that there's a good chance this is a 14 year old boy's body with a Megan Fox mask on. When you see this chick in GQ and such, sure she's sexy. But, not here. There's nothing sexy about these pictures. Nothing. These are so-called rare candids. It's no wonder this chick never leaves the house. Pale...

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Happy Birthday, My Love...

"Within you I lose myselfWithout you I find myselfWanting to be lost again."Heidi Klum turned 37 today and boy has it been difficult on us. We both appreciate the cards and the flowers. Despite the stressful day, we've spent most of this beautiful Tuesday, reconnecting (wink). I did make her aware of how superficial I am and how her aging will not be ignored by her superfluous bank account. Looks matter. What? She's getting a little flabby....

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