Flight from Atlanta through Amsterdam to Tanzania
The first flight was uneventful to Amsterdam. 7hours. I was shocked in Atlanta when I was able to take both of my two huge bags on the plane and didn't have to check them. When I got to Amsterdam, the security was like the Gestapo. They made me check. 9 more hours. We land in Tanzania and as we walk down the steps of our plane onto the Tarmac, we looked back and our plane was parked adjacent to a huge portion of tall grass one would picture growing in the savannah. There were scores of indigenous men as women pointing people in the right direction and they were all smiling and seemed genuinely happy to see me. I expected the temp to be hot and humid, but it was the opposite. It might have been the most pleasing and forgiving weather ive ever experienced. the smell of the air was so peculiar. I dont mean this distepectfully beause i loved it, but it smelled wild and virgin; it smelled like no one had breathed the air before me. We walked into the terminal and the building was architecturally beautiful. Large planks of soft wood, scarred by years of wear covered the floors and the roof was open air. It was breathtaking for any building, much less an airport. There were hundreds of people in this room, all waiting to get cleared through customs with their Tanzanian visas. It was organized and efficient and within minutes, we were grabbing our bags and heading outside. At least two dozen drivers and tour organizers had signs up with names that were indicative of nearly every part of the globe. I never realized how many people were drawn to this mountain. We found our driver and they were so polite and helpful. They said it would be an hour to the hotel. He was right. The landscape of Africa, at least what I saw of it in the dark was breathtaking. Seeing it for the first time was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life. It was as if god had taken extra time creating this place. The trees, the grasslands, the leaves and flowers, the hills, the mountains all popped out at you like it was trying to get your attention. I sit writing this at four am and I can hardly contain the excitement of seeing this paradise when the sun reveals its beauty. The ride to our hotel was scary and erratic, filled with horn blowing and flashing lights. It was no different than riding in a cab in Jamaica, if you've ever been there. In fact, the people are similar in their habits. There are many motorcycles, people out walking, but I couldn't help but wonder what they were doing or where they were going at 10pm on a Thursday. Do they work? Are they homeless? It was sad and confusing. We finally made it into the city and after turning down a few alleys and side streets i began to get nervous about the location. There were tons of people out and not many of them looked to be doing positive things. A gang of men had started a large fire in a trash can less than a hundred yards from our hotel. we checked into the hotel and our room was much nicer than expected, but that's relative. The location, however, was a nightmare. There was a party going on next door at a house and lots of drinking and yelling. There was a dog there that must be weaning because it yelped all night. Literally. My internal clock was so out of whack, I began writing and this is what you got. Ill retire for now. I can't wait for my eyes to see Kilimanjaro tomorrow for the first time. I can't believe I'm here. Truly, a dream come true.
Day 1
The morning came quick. I finally fell asleep and got about 45 min. The city was alive and moved with purpose. Kids had book bags, women carried greens and other produce in huge baskets on top of their heads, just as you've seen on tv. We got dressed and had breakfast and Chris went outside to shoot some photos of the hustling city. He started shooting a group of young boys across the street, about 10 of them. They were obviously very poor as some didn't even have shoes to cover their feet. He took many of them and they posed proudly, excited to share in our experience. I met him outside with a few of the candy bars I saved for our climb and handed them out. The ones that didn't get one begged for more. It was the most heart breaking thing one could imagine. We walked back inside just as our bus pulled into the hotel for our drive to Kilimanjaro. It was loaded w a driver and five guys, all of whom were among the friendliest people I had encountered. We loaded in and started our two hour drive to the mountain base. We drove around the market and words cant describe the level of congestion. cars going wrong ways, coming out of side streets, horns blowing, motorcycles with two year olds in school uniforms squeezing inches between cars at thirty mph. to survive that commute on daily basis is in itself, an accomplishment. As we drove through the streets and through the market of arusha, we began picking up more people until we had 15 total. The van was slammed and the Tanzanian people never stopped talking. the road was rolling hills on the way. i told the driver we needed to stop for a toilet break, since bathroom and restroom certainly didnt translate. when we did, i asked everyone to get out and inside the store where we stopped, i bought everyone a beer. Yes, even the driver. The group was elated and very thankful. "Asante" they kept saying to me, which is swahili for thank you. As we were leaving the adjacent store had a glass front and i noticed, of all things, jack daniels, on one of the shelves. I figured why not, so you know how the rest of that goes.
we finaly made it up the rural road to Machame base camp elevation:8200 ft. At this camp, there were people everywhere. Two huge log books chronicled every climber since jan 1 2013. People had come from everywhere and written a comment as a sort of prologue to their journey. While we were waiting, our porters gathered our non essentials, things we wouldn't need for trekking, and they started up the mountain. As you can imagine, these guys don't look powerful, but their level of strength and endurance is hard to comprehend. They carry 50 lbs bags on their heads while carrying two things of substance in their hands. For perspective, I had a 40lbs pack and At times, i struggled. I've never seen anything like it. The initial hike through the rain forest was the most dense foliage I've ever been through. There was a blanket of fog gripping the trees as far as you could see into the jungle. Mud layered the trails like chocolate frosting and your legs burned with each step up the relentless grade. The trails were never below a ~35 degrees. This was the case for 5 hours. My glutes and my hips were burning with each step. When we finally arrived at our first camp, it felt like heaven due to my lack of sleep and mental fatigue. the camp looked like tent city. There were at least 50 tents scattered throughout the camp. When we finally arrived at our campsite, we found our tents already set up and food and sterilized water being prepared. The level competence these porters have is something to behold. Because I had slept an hour the previous night, the day had taken its toll on me. By this time, I was exhausted. As dinner was being served, I could hardly stay awake to eat. I didn't want to disrespect them so I somehow finished and said "Asante" and retired for the night. It felt like midnight after the day i had but it was only 8pm. i literally cant remember a time when ive gone to bed that early. The night was incredibly cold and very windy. My tent mate, chris, made a bathroom break at midnight. he came back and regretfully said, can you believe it's only midnight. we have 7 more hours of this cold, at least. my response was, "that the best news you couldve ever given me." Thats how tired and worn out i was from the climb. we lose so much fluid throughout the day its imperative to say hydrated to avoid acute mountain sickness. Were all averaging between 4-7 liters daily. The night was Probably in the low 30's, with the wind whipping. This made my 230 am bathroom run precarious to say the least. Morning came and breakfast was amazing. The guys have a tent only for dining and cook three course meals. My respect for these guys is immeasurable. I don't know of one single American that would do that job, or even be physically capable ot doing it, much less while smiling and singing. It's refreshing and heartwarming. They love to teach their culture and way of life and speak of their family glowingly when asked. They had camp disassembled and on their heads and backs within minutes and started up the mountain headed for next camp.
The morning arrived like most. our waiter sets up a table for our hot tea and we eat a very good breakfast considering where we are and our limited resources. Every time i eat, i have an overwhelming sense of guilt that these men are carrying all of this equipment through an unforgiving terrain and up a grade that i can barely even climb. they make it look easy. i had always heard these stories of US soldiers and how challenging it is to fight an enemy like the Taliban in their terrain because they are so capable of traversing those mountains with ease. Well I understand that challenge now. In this terrain, I wouldn't stand a chance against these guys. The cook is very quiet and fittingly, the only one thats fat and doesnt carry anything. after breakfast, the level of speed at which camp is disassembled and relocated is something you simply have to see to believe and appreciate. Today was the most physically daunting and intimidating thing I've ever done in my life, but somehow, they assure me tomorrow is somehow worse. i consider myself a person in good to excellent health and conditioning and it was exhausting and mentally draining. The much-needed sleep the night before saved me. I seemed to tolerate the day easier than others. It was a very steep grade, around 50-60 degrees, and was the first time you could tell the oxygen was becoming scarce. Couple that with the intense terrain and unforgiving sun and you've got an intense day. We started at 9800ft and ended the day at 12400 ft. That took four hours and almost 6 miles of traversing. It's not that the climb is that tough physically. It's tiring, but very possible for nearly all ages. The requirements for mental toughness are far more limiting and intimidating. The shortness of breath, especially for those like me who don't spent time at altitude, can induce paranoia and anxiety at only the slightest symptoms. The key is to remain calm and pole pole (pronounced poley), slowly in Swahili. The less you know, or try to know, or assume you know, the better. The path all day was very rocky and narrow, with loose pebbles and gravel making each step a concerted effort and dedicated thought, which os frustrating and demoralizing. All day up we had the mountain on one side and thousands of feet down on the other. Being acrophobic, it was not my idea of fun. With each ascent to another lookout, the view became a better version than the one before. We had amazing views of Kilimanjaro's sister mountain, Mount Meru, all day as ascended. We were, for the first time, ascending into the clouds. Being above the clouds, seeing an ecosystem that is so foreign, so unique, so odd, was the closest thing to heaven I can imagine. It was peaceful, quiet and serene. It was exactly what I imagined when i read hemingway and hoped it would be when I decided to undergo this expedition. Everything seemed foreign. the plant life had so many unique adaptations to withstand the cold and harsh conditions.Most of these unusual plants are unique to Kilimanjaro. The mountain is so massive it has its own weather pattern and its fauna and animal life have selected for their own unique survival traits. Some of these plants and animals are found no where else in the world but Kilimanjaro. One of the plants closes like a fist at night to protect itself from the harsh cold, only to open again in the sun of the early morning. After midway through our trek, we could see the plateau that disguised camp on the other side. With each hour it inched closer and closer. Scale is so hard to comprehend on kilimanjaro because of the massive size. nothing can be put into perspective from a distance. you simply pick a point, put your head down and persevere until you reach it. Then repeat. It's mentally exhausting. The last 45 min were treacherous and depleted any bit of morale and energy we had left. After reaching the top, we could see down into the valley where tents were being assembled everywhere. I imagined that it would be a very social area at night as everyone was one step closer to the roof of Africa. When we reached camp, a hot lunch was prepared by our chef that consisted of fried chicken without flour, sautéed cabbage, and French fries. Chris and I said we can't remember a time when we've consumed more calories than we have over the past few days. And somehow, were always hungry. After lunch, we came back to our tent for a rest before we trek up the mountain, only to descend back to camp, for the sole purpose of climatization or altitude acclimation. I lie in my tent typing this on my phone and I can hear our porters always talking. They are a very social people, but take their work very seriously. Opportunities for income are so scarce and limited in tanzania due to the corrupt government, they take nothing for granted. I have seen our guide, the boss, austerely and with finger pointing, scold a couple of teenagers carrying our stuff. We caught them resting on a rock and sweating and Sam did not take kindly to that lack of effort. He told me that he has done all the jobs on the climb, including balancing gear on his head as a porter for five years, so he knows what it takes to be successful. He said he had no tolerance for laziness. I'm in awe of these people and their dedication and work ethic. Every American should be forced to see this alternate reality. The perspective this trip has brought me, on so many levels, I wouldn't trade for anything.
Like most mornings, Saturday came at sunrise. The smell of our tent is not what one would hope for. At this point, out scents unfortunately blend in with the wild. This is not a good thing. This morning is freezing. It's barely above zero. I slept in cold weather under armour sell, parka, and ski pants, and shivered all night. Also, I was so sore from yesterday's climb, i took my first 800mg ibuprofen. I feel a little less sore this morning. I can hear many people already up scurrying throughout camp; I'm sure it's all the porters and chefs preparing the day for us. We met a large group of Iranian Americans that are very nice. I made a friend named parvin. Parvin and her husband are doing well, but many others in the group are suffering severe AMS(acute mountain sickness), and have even vomiting and experiencing vertigo and migraines and feeling just generally terrible. This has caused them much delay. I feel for them. Our porters have constantly fed us more than I'm used to eating. I would assume I've eaten at least 4000 calories per day. They tell me that my appetite will completely disappear when we reach higher altitude, therefore, we need to stay ahead while we can. I trust them. This is our guide, sam's, third trip up Kilimanjaro this month. That alone is something beyond comprehension. I cannot tell you in words the physical demands this trip has placed on my body. there isnt much i havent put my body through, in fact, i am used to signing up for ridiculous events that test my mental and physical limits. This is different. We started our trek through an alpine desert with very little Vegetation. The grind is beginning to wear on everyone. We are hiking to lava tower, a vent created when Kilimanjaro erupted thousands of years ago. It's at 4600 meters, our highest and most grueling ascent yet. It took us four long and slow hours to reach the tower. Along the way, people were very sick due to the altitude. Nausea is the first sign. Well, nausea and headache. Fatigue at this point is disguised by torturing your body over the last few days so its hard to distinguish. I performed very well and I was pleased. Altitude is so unpredictable and when it comes, it grips you like a vice until you descend. After lava tower, we hiked two hours down through a valley that is labeled an alpine desert. this area contained the most unusual wildlife and fauna I have ever seen. This place is so isolated, the species of both plants and animals are something you would see imagined in the movies. We finally reached base camp about 330 and as we were nestled between two huge rock faces, over a thousand feet each on both sides. One of those sides was to be our path for tomorrow. We tried to eat as much as we could, but our appetites are waning, just as they said they would. For the third night in a row, we were in our tents sleeping by 730pm.
It's 207am and I'm wide awake. No one knows Insomnia until you're freezing cold, alone, thousands of miles away from anything familiar and fearing the most challenging physical demands of your life. I've got a bad cough that has my lungs congested and irritated, which makes me really nervous about summiting tomorrow night. Today at high altitude, i could feel deep breaths literally causing me pain due to the immense pressure. Physically, from an endurance and muscle standpoint, I could go for weeks more; there's plenty of food, plenty of sleep, except tonight, plenty of clean water and adequate clothing, so far. Mentally, however, I've never been challenged like this before. I've done more than most in my life to push my physical and mental limitations to their limits and I must tell you, tonight, I am close to my breaking point. I have a myriad of emotions: sadness, hopelessness, exhaustion, both mentally and physically, home sickness, anxiety, anticipation, excitement and sadly, fear of death. Sure, many people succeed; but this mountain also claims its stake as well. Nothing I can write would adequately describe my mental condition right now. It takes will beyond anything ive ever experienced to stay focused and positive. i didnt know what to expect, and although i knew it would be difficult, i didnt know it would try to break me and perhaps succeed.
As i type this, Chris is very sick. He has a stomach bug that is making rest impossible. I feel for him. I cannot imagine being demoralized physically in the mental state I'm in. It would be devastating. Im gonna try to sleep for a few hours, although it doesnt seem possible. over the last few days, all I've had is time. I've been thinking and reflecting on mistakes ive made and ways to right them. ive realized this is a good reminder of all the positive and hopeful things in my life. It made me think of a phrase recited by Navy Seals in BUDS training: "The only easy day is yesterday." Tomorrow, I will attempt to live that mantra. When we woke up, our guide told us to eat well as today would be the hardest we'd seen yet. Great. Today were tackling barranco wall. A rock face nearly straight up for about two hours with no ropes. Standing at the bottom it looked like it would take All day. At several points, you're holding on to a rock and stepping across a hundred foot drop that would certainly kill you, or at least make you wish you were dead. We all were very careful and precise. After about an hour or so, we crested. The rest of the day was intense with 70 degree grades the entire way. It was completely demoralizing. Around lunch time, we stopped for lunch. Me and one other person were the only two that ate. Altitude was starting to set into everyone. The overall morale was very low. no one had much hope. its amazing what being deprived of oxygen is capable of doing to your body. The day was about 7 hours of hiking and the last huge grade of the day led into base camp for the summit. It was about 4pm. The last hill killed me. I was so low on oxygen I could hardly breathe. Everyone in the group felt terrible. When I got to camp, I couldn't even move. I was gasping for air and vomiting. They said you either get ams or you don't. It was obvious I did. Chris, who was sick all night before, seemed unchanged. He had been sick all day. We got to camp and the only thing you could think of or concentrate on was sleep. The plan was to sleep and wake up to eat dinner and then again at midnight to begin the summit. I skipped dinner. I felt as close to death as I've ever felt. I had bad mountain sickness ad lucky for me, whatever Chris had the night before had made its way over to me. It was like having the worst virus of your life, but not being able to breathe. It was truly indescribable. I kept trying to muster the energy to do anything and no matter what, it was exhausting. At dinner, I couldn't dream of eating so I slept. At midnight, when we were awakened, it was literally more tiring than running a half marathon just tying your shoes. No joke. We were moving like turtles. It was below zero, dark and we were all sick. All of us. Everyone was throwing up all over the camp. Chris, seemed to be the best of all of us, but that was marginal. As we started our ascent, I would move about 50 feet and be forced to rest for five min as I literally gasped for air. I felt zero acclimation. The minimal time we had spent at 4600m simply did nothing to help us. We moved slowly through the night. Each step was literally a conscious effort and thought. I'm not joking when I say this, but I was sicker and more miserable than I had ever been in my life. It made having appendicitis seem like a walk in the park. The only thing you could do is not look up and count your steps. More and more the altitude began to take its grip on me. After three steps I would be forced to sit down As I gasped for air to stop my rapid breathing. At one point, it was so bad I dropped to my knees and rolled to my back. My chest was rising and falling like I had been sprinting. I was so sick I couldn't think of anything else. I had never been lower in my life. My guide would whisper to me, "200 more meters." I would stand back up, which literally took my breath and start walking again, only to repeat this painful process all over again. Deep breaths were impossible. Oxygen was so scarce I couldn't talk. Mountain sickness is a weird condition. It hits some, me, like a train and others, seem unphased. I saw no one unphased by this mountain. I just saw some tolerate it. I was not one of those people. I had been hiking three hours when my guide told me it would be at least 5 more. I knew at that moment the mountain had beaten me. The ironic thing about it was I was ok with it. I literally felt so close to death, I couldn't rationalize another five hours. I was somewhere around 5300meters of 5900 meters, so close to the roof of Africa when I waved the white flag and succumbed to the sickness, the virus, the hypoxia, and the cold. I could literally see the glacier less than 200 meters away. I stood there on the side of the mountain thinking about all the things my life and the clarity this trip had provided me. I stood there for five minutes, literally gasping for each breath, and my guide didn't say a word. He knew. We both did. It was as if he knew what I was thinking. It was one of those moments people describe when having a near death experience. Everything becomes quiet and acute. Your breath is the only ambient noise. I stood there at nearly 18000 feet and stared at this massive geological obstacle that had been the object of my desires and thoughts for so long. I stood there, staring up at it, an in a moment of sheer certainty and not one ounce of regret I said to Sam, "trende." (Let's go in Swahili). He never said a word to me. He just turned, threw his arm around me and started walking. Unfortunately for me, my night was just beginning. You could see the hint of sunrise over the horizon. I barely made it back to camp. There is no way I could've continued as sick as I was for 6 more hours and then down. When I finally made it to camp, I had never been sicker. I had a high fever, with shivering and sweating all night. I vomited all night long, among other things and I can say without equivocation, it was the closest I've ever felt to dying or giving up on life. Chris was the only person in our group to make the summit and he literally looked like death when he got back. He told me he doesn't remember anything about the top because of the intense and severe hypoxia. I have no regrets. None. This trip has been the most spiritual and enlightening thing I've ever done in my life. I will come back here. I will always remember the lessons this mountain taught me. The loneliness and despair and subsequently, the hope it helped me find. I've had the roughest two years a man can have and I can say God brought me here, above the clouds to experience the clarity perspective can bring. I am so thankful for Africa. I feel alive. Kilimanjaro has given me time to heal and forgive, both myself and others. If you ever want to be humbled, and experience the dichotomy of being brought to your knees in both triumph and defeat, there's a mountain in the east african country of Tanzania that will happy to oblige you.
Last day: I wanted to hate this experience because never in my life did I think I would get to share in something so foreign and magical. The writing is a little haphazard, but I did the best I could. Enjoy!
Today after arriving in Tanrangerie National Park, we went straight to the bush. We were riding in a land rover with a top that popped up so you could stand and take pictures. The landscape was as magical as you can imagine. Chris and I both agreed this is the best thing we had ever done in our lives. The grandiose nature of the African savannah is breathtaking. As far as the eye can see, there is nothing but grasslands. Massive trees called baobabs are sporadically placed. The trunks are massive and can live hundreds of years old. They lose their leaves in the dry season and elephants will use their tusks against the massive trunks in search of moisture. In the process, you can see where these trunks have considerable damage done to them. The Park is known for its massive quantity of elephants. We also saw mongoose, ostriches, wart hogs, antelope, gazelle, water buffalo, water buck, zebras, giraffes, monkeys, wildebeest and lions. We were lucky to see from ten feet away, a lion stalk a group of zebra crossing a water source. It was like being in a national geographic video. It was an amazing experience, but truly paled in comparison to what would lie ahead for us. After the park, we were fortunate enough to visit a local Masai tribe. These people are incredible.
The dirt road seemed endless leading into the park. As we got close we could see a Masai village from a distance. The Masai people are the only ones allowed to live in the parks. Our driver told us we would be going there to see the details of how the people lived. As we pulled up the leader of the tribe came to greet us. His English was remarkably well spoken. He told us he had 6 wives and 18 children. I thought I had problems. He and the other men wore recycled tire treads as their sandals. They all drape themselves in purple or red garments and carry either a spear or a staff. We were told that we could take any pictures we wanted as we were led around the village. Before we started, they wanted to show us a tribal dance and some of their ceremonial traditions. the women all lined up in a row and sang while the men performed wht looked to be some sort of battle dance. one of the members would jump like a pole high into the air while the others would create unusual noises. It reminded me of what you would picture the native americans doing before they left for battle. They pulled all the males in our group into their circle and we performed with them. They all loved this, as they were all laughing and smiling. when te dance was over, our guide, one of the young powerful and promising males of the tribe, led us to his hut. It was only slightly larger than an average closet...a mans closet, not a female closet. The outside looked like mud, but it was made with cow dung, straw and water pasted together and hardened. The women of the tribe are responsible for the construction of the houses while the men are away tending to their herd. The number of their herd is how they evaluate wealth. The construction of each hut takes about 4 weeks and there are two small cubbies for beds, one for the children, the other for the adults. we walked in and there was a small fire on the ground in the middle of the hut, which seemed so dangerous. I saw roaches and hundreds of flies. it literally was an experience I couldn't comprehend coming from a life in the United States. Our guide told us how they made the beds and the food they would cook. Everything is a team effort. The bible verse, "it takes a village to raise a child" is precisely how they live. We could learn a lot from them. We continue to raise ungrateful assholes that tell the parents what to do. Not these people. Later on that day, after our safari, the bartender of our hotel was masai. he talked to us for an hour about his people and his upbringing. At our hotel, two masai walk you to and from your room to the main part of the hotel. i asked him what a couple of guys with spears will do against a lion and he laughed. "Two Masai will easily take on five lions." Two men with spears against five lions. These men have no fear. He told us, as a child, he is sent I to the bush at 8 years old to care for 15 cows. It's their coming of age.
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