
Socialite, make-believe actor, and notorious butter-face, Audrina Patridge, has finally realized her stock should be shorted and has settled for a relationship with her male unfamous counterpart, Ryan Cabrerra. At least she knows her place on the evolutionary ladder of reproductive fitness. Every single time she leaves her house, I bet she refers to her Post-It note attached to her fridge: Accentuate expensive drips of golden silicone honey to...