Ch..ch..ch..chia

Socialite, make-believe actor, and notorious butter-face, Audrina Patridge, has finally realized her stock should be shorted and has settled for a relationship with her male unfamous counterpart, Ryan Cabrerra. At least she knows her place on the evolutionary ladder of reproductive fitness. Every single time she leaves her house, I bet she refers to her Post-It note attached to her fridge: Accentuate expensive drips of golden silicone honey to...

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This is precisely why I support the lottery.

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. – A Missouri man who won a $258 million Powerball jackpot and plans to use some of the money to pay bills, replace his two missing front teeth and take his children to Disney World said he hasn't decided yet if he'll quit his job at the convenience store where he bought the winning ticket.Chris Shaw — a 29-year-old tattooed father of three who was raised by his grandparents in rural southern Missouri — came forward Thursday as...

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Lindsay wins Oscar, Ali is...well...bless her heart.

Lindsay Lohan is working for a change...kind of. She's such a disgrace, she even embarrasses Hollywood. That's like impossible because celebrities are so dumb they can't wipe their asses using both hands. Regardless though, Lindsay was photographed promoting (probably begged for celebrity appearance) a milkshake shop in Hollywood with her sister Ali. Lindsay is so clueless the owners of the store corroborated in the back room and gave her a miniature...

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Really, Mr President...the race card?

This is why America will never eliminate racism and bigotry. The most powerful man in the world, our leader, our President, uses race to further his agenda and in turn, further racial isolation and discrimination. Remove all social and political loyalty, remove all personal alligiences for one second, and now imagine if you watched this video and instead of Barack Obama it was George W Bush. Imagine that instead of calling on African Americans, Hispanics, and young people, they called on white men and white women. That's the difference between...

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Stocking stuffers here we come!

Today celebrates 25 years since Weird Science hit theaters. Long gone are the days of "Scrunchies"; however, it seems we're lucky to have a new fad. A fad that will make Bass, banana clips, hypercolor, and Keds seem like a stupid idea. Welcome to pure ingenuity.Ladies and Gentlemen...The Backtacu...

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My Weekend in Jacksonville.

Despite spending seven long uneventful years, using all my waking hours and endless resources to relocate, I drove back down and spent the weekend in Jacksonville Florida. The trip was necessary because we finally rented our house that's been on the market since sometime before the spring of 1991. Since we didn't have water turned on at our house, we decided to stay with two of my best friends in Jax Beach. Their place is great, Ocean front, ample space, private pool and hot tub. I'm not sure why this is, but like Peter Pan, we refuse to accept...

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First class organization, first class individuals

If you could dream up the characteristics that define an effective, determined, grounded and representative CEO, it would be hard to get Bertha Lewis out of your head to think of anyone else. This lovely woman the captures sheer essence of integrity and stabilty. She's practically run Acordn into the ground, but she's not stopping there.ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis says the times people are living in now will "dwarf" all those stains on America's history....

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Jessica Alba = never better?

Much to the dismay of many of my friends, I've always thought Jessica Alba was overrated. Granted, the mocha skin and big lips help, but something is missing for me. I won't even begin with her sophomoric acting ability. If Jessica Alba were famous for being married to Brad Pitt, she would be Jennifer Aniston. They're like the same person to me. Regardless though, I have to give her some props here. In Film Now(?) magazine, Alba sizzles. Did...

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Hi Pot...I'm Kettle, just a little blacker.

In a Twitter battle, ex?porn star, Jenna Jameson, expressed her disappointment in Kendra's behavior since becoming a mother. This judgement, ironically coming from a chick that starred in Up and Cummers 10 and 11, Where the Boys Aren't, Cum One Cum All, and Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventures 35. Off hand, without really thinking hard, I can't think of someone less qualified to offer up free mommy advice. @JennaJameson : I have to say one last thing....

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Obama finally makes a good decision.

Washington (CNN) -- President Obama has asked the Department of Health and Human Services to establish a rule that would prevent hospitals from denying visitation privileges to gay and lesbian partners.The president's Thursday memo said, "There are few moments in our lives that call for greater compassion and companionship than when a loved one is admitted to the hospital. ... Yet every day, all across America, patients are denied the kindnesses...

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Fire alarms of grief and sadness...

Former boxer, Rocky Somebody, just landed a guest spot on AE's "Intervention" and all I can say is, "Wow." This is at the same time, one the saddest, yet most entertaining things I have ever witnessed. I honestly cannot stop watching this video. Simply incredible. It's almost like a hungry hyena....

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The Algorithm of Kenny Chesney

+++=In some recent interview, Kenny Chesney, bless his heart, tried to convince himself everyone that he is not gay. Mind you, that's pretty hard to do when your wife divorces you and sites, "Fraud" as the reason for your split. I guess he lives in denial because he thinks it will hurt his career, but I guess he hasn't read the memo because we ALL know. Here is the "his" explanation for the failure of his marriage to Renee Zelwhatever:"I look...

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Who would you rather?

After three hours, I honestly can't deci...

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Very Subtle Dumbass...

Seriously, the only way I could despise this chick more would be if she had been one of the 9-11 hijacke...

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You're just wrong BOSS.

It seems my friend, Boss, disagrees with my assessment of Mischa Barton. He said that I am insinuating that she was once beautiful. We all remember "The OC," and we all remember how beautiful she was back then. I think this picture is indicative of that beauty. Enough said....

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Red Sonja-Rose McGowan+Megan Fox=Box Office Poison

The remake of Red Sonya has left comic book geeks and chronic masturbating teenagers frustrated due to delays in production for just about every possible reason. Robert Rodriquez was originally signed on to direct and Rose McGowan to star, but it seems both have dropped out to pursue other ventures. It seems now Megan Fox has been chosen to replace McGowan. Not only did they choose the most overrated and unproven actress of all time, but new writers...

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Sherman! Sherman! Sherman!

I'm no Yves St. Laurent, but I know enough about fashion to know that if I put on a pair of pants and it makes me look like Sherman Klump after drinking the magic body transformation serum, I'm probably gonna put those dudes back on the hanger. Honestly, the only way for your looks to deteriorate faster than this would be to die and while you decompose, your friends drag you around town like Weekend at Bernie...

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