“Your heart is my piñata.”

I really was planning on posting a lot of the material that I've been storing in my downloads box, but as some of you know, Blake Lively announced today that she and num-nutsPenn Badgley had broken up. So, as you can imagine, that changed my daily timeline. Instead of blogging all afternoon on useless stories no one cares about, I spent it buying flowers, handcuffs, GHB and ski masks. I know she loves me. I can tell because when I pull this picture...

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Incredible stupidity = Gene pool cleansing

People Are Awesome - Watch more SportsDespite half of these people not having a chance to live past 30, videos like this, to me, are wildly entertaining. A couple of these I had to rewatch because I was literally staring in disbeli...

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No to marijuana, yes to murder. Yep, Florida strikes again.

In 2007 she captured global attention as the Hiccup Girl, a 15-year-old who spent nearly six weeks searching for a remedy for her non-stop bout of hiccups – a journey documented by multiple visits to NBC's Today. However, since then, Jennifer Mee, 19, of St. Petersburg has taken up a new hobby, Robbery and Murder. She, along with two others are charged with first-degree murder in the death of Shannon Griffin, 22, whom they tried to rob on Saturday....

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It's gonna be a tough task, but try to pick out the famous people.

When I look at the pictures of the Jersey Snores above, I can hardly contain my laughter. It looks like a terrible typical SNL skit. Snooki has on 6"heels and still couldn't ride one roller coaster in North America. The other two look like younger versions of Magda from, There's Something About Mary. Conversely, the other picture looks like two angels singing hymns from Heaven. The differences between these two pictures are the epitome of what's...

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Jennifer Aniston's photography classes are really paying off...

Everyone, except me of course, thought Brad and Angie would last about 10 seconds. Since 2005 they have been having sex and causing Jennifer Aniston to sew Voo-Doo dolls of skinny brunettes defying the odds and you can see from the pictures here, they still kiss for fun. With lips like Jolie's, who wouldn't kiss for fun. She could murder a Care Bear riding My Little Pony and I would still want to have sex with her. Yeah she's weird, so what....

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This is precisely how I know Maxim sucks.

Avril Lavigne hasn't been relevant, well really ever, but at least since 2003 or so. She's like a 27 year old version of a girl you dated when you were in 6th grade. Either Maxim is dedicated to turning me into a pedophile that likes pale, flat chested, 4'1" 6th graders, or they hate sexy women. Maxim magazine sucks my ass. I would rather send my money to continue helping Sally Struthers steal food from those poor African children than give one...

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wowzers.

I've been looking at a blinking cursor for three hours and I can't think of one reason I'm posting this picture of Victoria's Secret model Candice Swanepoel. I'm almost positive this picture was taken in Heaven by God, which is why it's beyond my comprehension. God, thank you for uploading this JPEG. You're amazi...

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Jennifer Aniston will ruin your life.

After 11 years of marriage and bearing the burden of having self loathing misery addict Jennifer Aniston ride you like a fair pony, Courtney Cox and David Arquette separated. I was naive enough to believe this Hollywood couple would actually last, but if I had just considered how closely Jennifer Aniston is to them, I would've known their marriage was doomed like Pamela Anderson's liver. Jennifer Aniston is the luckiest person in Hollywood. The...

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Guess what she does for a living?

Like Aristotle's third element of truth, Logos, these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio are all the logical proof I need to know that my loins are actually on fire. I expect, within the hour, to get a comment on my blog from Chris Bostain that says, "Like I've said many times before, I would cash it all in for this girl." Well, Chris, I couldn't agree more. There's hardly anything left to say about a woman this seemingly perfect. All I can convince...

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Meth is the new steroids

Someone, on some blog, told me this was Aaron Carter. I have no idea who that is so according to WIKI, Aaron Carter is the brother of Nick Carter. Guess what, I don't know Nick Carter either, but according to WIKI, he was in the Backstreet Boys. Guess what, yeah I know who they are, but I wish I didn't. Anyway, the only reason I read this story and saved this picture was because I was certain this story had to be about Meth addiction or Intervention's...

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I dare you to not laugh.

News Anchor Cracks Up At Dikshit - Watch more Funny VideosI would pay three grand to get this guy stoned out of his mind and just start laughing. It makes me happier than watching puppies and unicorns ki...

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God, she's so pretty.

Christina Hendricks was photographed spending her time between takes violently burning heaters in hopes of suppressing her insatiable appetite. Obviously, it's working...working the same way deep fried oreo and pork chop milk shake diets work. In the latest edition of Harper's Bazaar, Hendricks revealed to the curious readers just how irresistible she is to both men and women and how confusingly arrogant she is about her obesity body and good looks:“Women...

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Tim, only you could love this story as much as I do...

Reuters) - The United States apologized on Friday for an experiment conducted in the 1940s in which U.S. government researchers deliberately infected Guatemalan prison inmates, women and mental patients with syphilis.In the experiment, aimed at testing the then-new drug penicillin, inmates were infected by prostitutes and later treated with the antibiotic."The sexually transmitted disease inoculation study conducted from 1946-1948 in Guatemala was...

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Survey Says...

This is one show that has always been hijacked by the biggest tool hosts of any game show in history, except for maybe, Alex Trebek, who according to the way he corrects people, no only speaks every language with perfect accents, he also knows the answer to every question that's ever been asked on Jeopardy. You know what Alex, I know you're reading the answers on those damn cards. Don't be so proud of yourself. Serious though, Family Feud has always been a wretched show, but I have to admit, this show hosted by Steve Harvey wouldn't be that...

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Cobra McJingleballs...are you effing kidding me?

Justin Murdock, billionaire Dole Food heir and Hobbit Avril Lavigne's ex-boyfriend—faces a sexual harassment suit for calling an employee a "whore," telling her to suck his * & % $, and requiring her to start a Facebook account for him as "Cobra McJingleballs."The 38-year-old billionaire has a reputation of being an A-Hole, and being a socialite with young people in Hollywood. Carissa, the former director of corporate development has accused...

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