Now it's been a while since I last added my completely original and always superiorly presented viewpoints, but this video drips of sexy awesomeness. Not only does this dude crush a 5 minute mile, but he chugs 4 beers in the process. When thinking of perfect things, I go straight to Rainbows, puppies and unicorns. This video rapes unicorns of their perfection and then turns it up a notch. If this isn't a Herculean feat, I don't know what is. Phidippides, himself, would kneel to Nick. Can someone tell me...
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
So, it appears Coachella is upon us again. If you don't know what that is, it's basically a dress up party for celebrities to pretend they're poor, smelly hippies. If you want to know the one place more dreadful for me than being behind a velvet rope in some lame ass club buying 500.00 bottles of shitty vodka poured into a Grey Goose bottle and calling that VIP, it's Coachella. If you want to see me wilt like Superman wrapped in chains of Kryptonite,...
A defendant named Fellony was arrested yesterday for felony battery after she allegedly struck a woman in the head with a glass at an Indiana bar.Fellony Silas, 30, was collared early Sunday following the fracas at Kilroy’s Sports Bar in Bloomington. The bloodied 24-year-old victim suffered several lacerations and was treated for her injuries at a local hospital.The attack was reportedly triggered when the victim accidentally bumped into Silas while...
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Lara Flynn Boyle used to be kind of a star in the 90's. She did Wayne's World, which for most actors in that movie, turned out to be career suicide. She also did Threesome, which is the movie I remember her from. I remember mostly because it came out when I was in like 9th grade and it was about freshman year at college and threesomes. Needless to say, those lying bastards sold me a bill of goods...I promise mom and dad. That never happened....
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
As you all already know, Hollyweird sucks. I support it, I suppose, in the same way I'm fascinated by really gruesome injuries and accidents. It's a shame that actors make so much that they can't face the same peril as normal people. They are always the genesis of their own demise, whether it be drugs or alcohol or sagging boobs or a receding hairline or in John Tavolta's case, all of the above. The point is I really have so many people that...
Keith Olbermann was fired from like his 21st job in 19 years recently and last night he went on Letterman to discuss his demise. Letterman kicked off his brief sit-down with the TV personality by asking how long ago he had left MSNBC to go to Current TV.“I don’t know. I have to consult my notes because after a certain point, I can’t keep track of where I’m working,” Olbermann joked. I use Olbermann joked very lightly because the only people that...
Mark Mark has been busy lifting the Funky Bunch it seems...as well as syringes filled to the brim with anabolic steroids. I have to admit, Mark Walberg always makes pretty good movies, but that's about as far as I can stretch the compliments. He couldn't be more douchey if he tried. He seems like the ultimate Hollyweird sawed-off leading man...5'7" with a meathead complex, awesome, you're hired. First, he develops Entourage on his "alleged" career...
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Allegedly, Paris Fashion Week just wrapped up last week. If you were an alien from another universe and those words were spoken with the included picture, you would assume Paris Fashion Week was something involving tortuous rabid centaurs that had come to wipe out all life on planet Earth. I could live to 219 years old and I wouldn't understand how this chick is famous, or better yet, considered a fashion icon. The reason I know men will never,...
I woke up this morning to an email from Heidi. It read (adorable German accent)"Trey, I had a friend take some photos of me last week. I just wanted you to know how much I miss you're sexy body and charming wit. I'm coming over tonight with sauerkraut...you bring the sausage." P.S. Don't listen to the tabloids....I love your pasty skin. Love,Heidi <3Well...Seal 0 Trey Yearwood...
This picture was uploaded to Chris Brown's Twitter earlier this week with the caption, "Which COLOR today?"Honestly, Chris Brown is barely literate. If you're wondering who the dumbest person on Earth is, do yourself a favor and take a gander at his Twitter account. It looks like John Wilkes Boothe and Lee Harvey Oswald got together in an attempt to assassinate the English language once and for all. Two years ago, Chris Brown, because he beat...
If any of you watched the NFL Combine, you're acutely aware of not only how ridiculously athletic RG3 is, but how much skill he has for playing QB in the NFL. Personally, I think he's gonna be everything Michael Vick's athleticism promised, but his IQ couldn't deliver. What pisses me off about all the coaches and rich white owners in the NFL is how they all inflated Andrew Luck's combine performance. They raved about how his athleticism shocked...
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Jimmy fallon is damn funny, not to mention extremely talented. Anyway, he had Lindsay Lohan on this week to promote her hosting SNL. Personally, I can't wait because the rumor has it that she will be doing parodies of herself all night. My prediction is she'll remind us why everyone loved her like 20,000 kilos and a new set of veneers ago. P.S. Im pretty sure Jimmy Fallon does Neil Young better than Neil Young....
Monday, February 27, 2012
Jennifer Aniston's new movie, Wanderlust, opened this weekend to a typical Aniston performance...dead last. She's such an idiot. She's like 40 something and the only thing she has going for her is a smoking body. Her face has seen more knives than Nicole Brown Simpson, so I refuse to give her credit for that. She was rumored to have a nude scene in the movie, but because she's an A-List star, who the hell knows why, she gets final cut and decided...
Melissa McCarthy, the funny chick from Bridesmaids, showed up to the Oscars last night in this Broadway stage curtain. Let me guess, she's comfortable in her skin and she owned it. Wrong. Let me stop you there. The only thing getting OWNED is her knees and ankles and her arteries from the elevated cholesterol. I watched the Oscars last night, which holy crap, I wish I had that three hours back. The only thing more painful than Billy Crystals...
It's been a while since we've spoken. If you cared, which you don't, but if you did, you would remember that sometime last year, I promised that I would do a better job of entertaining you with my offensive and perspicacious rhetoric; alas, I failed. Regardless, I am pulling myself out of retirement because I miss vomiting my cynicism and demanding that my opinions be substantiated. That's where you come in...see you so...
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