So Long Brendon

 Today, February 26, 2013 is a sad day for my internet pleasure. For about 8 years there has been one website that I have been more loyal to than any other ever and have visited at least twice daily. WWTDD.COM was a site created by a guy that left thesuperficial.com to start this site. It's by a mile the funniest thing you've ever read. Honestly, he and WWTDD are the reason I started this stupid waste of time that no one reads. After some...

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Sarah Jessica Parker is a natural beauty

Sarah Jessica Parker is the biggest enigma to come out of Hollywood in my lifetime.  She's a wretched actress.  Her character on Sex and the City was so abhorrent and repulsive, it was impossible to watch.  That show is the only proof I need that women are out of touch.  She looks like a female centaur and her voice makes me want to OD on jenkem.  Even though I loathe her existence, I still feel a little sorry for her because...

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Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue jumped the shark

This post is gonna cause an uproar among dumb guys because so many people make such a big deal out of this chick. Frankly, I don't get it. Nothing is big about this chick except her bra size. She shaped like a rhombus, she has no hips, a butter face and it wouldn't kill her to do a sit up or two. I see at least one girl a day that's this hot. No shit. I'm not the only one, by the way.Sophia Neophitou, a talent scout for Victoria's Secret, told...

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Oscar didn't think this through...

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Someone else thinks Florida is a joke...imagine that.

This son-of-a-bitch stole my schtick. I've been making fun of Florida for 10 years. Why? Because I lived there and Florida sucks. If you're a pedophile, a murderer, a meth cooker, drug addict, racially confused and envious white boy driving an import straight out of Fast and Furious, a Budweiser tank-top/Mr. T gold chain wearing redneck, or a drug smuggler/dealer/cartel, then Florida is perfect for you. Otherwise, it's just a miserably humid...

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Gronk is a beast.

 Being 6'6" 265lbs and athletic is ridiculous. God just never gives size strength and athleticism. It's so rare that if you're that size, there's almost nothing else you can do with your life except for be a certified bad ass in the NFL. If I were that size, I would be a total mess. There's a few type of people to which life never says the word no: Athletes, entertainers, and beautiful women. Gronk lives life exactly as I would. The life...

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Man gets hammered...uses taco as ID. (One guess where he's from)

Matthew Falkner found out the hard way after he passed out drunk in the drive-thru of a Jensen Beach Taco Bell and his car caught fire. The incident occurred in the early morning of October 1 in Jensen Beach, according to the blog Off the Beat. Falkner, 30, had apparently decided to make a run for a fourth meal after downing some beers, and he somehow made it all the way to the fast-food joint in his Chevy pickup, placed his order, and received...

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Chris Brown's class surprises no one...ever.

Rihanna and Chris Brown were so close together at the Grammy's they looked like marsupials. They were overheard saying, "Ike and Tina aren't the only show in town." I almost feel sorry for these two. Thank God they are famous because you couldn't combine their IQ's get to a fully functional human being's average level. I tried to follow Rihanna on Twitter for like two days and it was trying to read words thrown into a bowl and pulled out at...

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North Korea be Crazy

North Korea rarely lets its people have electricity because in that God forsaken country the delusional leaders are using it all to create propaganda videos to further brainwash its people. When I was in 5th grade, I was part of an anti-drug movie that we, the students wrote the script for and used a video camera about the size of a Mini Cooper to film. It was horrible, but funny. It was like 1988 so one couldn't expect much. The point is, is...

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In Miami, eff you gets you thirty days in the clink.

View more videos at: http://nbcmiami.com.Penelope Soto, 18, was arrested for possession of Xanax and was brought before Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Jorge Rodriguez-Chomat Monday, where she was asked about her assets. Soto, who was sporting orange jail clothes and smiled and stroked her hair through the proceeding, laughed when she was asked how much her jewelry was worth."It's not a joke, you know, we're not in a club now," Rodriguez-Chomat told her. "We are not in a club, be serious about it.""I'm serious about it, you just made me laugh," Soto...

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Destiny's Grandchild

For anyone that has followed this blog for years (thanks mom), you would know my level of disdain for Beyonce Thunder Thighs Knowles.  Last night, while she was fornicating with the stage, I literally stared at the television amidst a major dichotomy.  Did I (a) want her 40,000 dollar weave to catch on fire like that Great White concert or (b) chug the Drano that I was holding in my left hand.  Was I really watching a pop group that...

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Posthumously Stiff

A nurse was arrested for committing a sex act with a corpse at a hospital, police said Tuesday. Alejandro Lazo, 61, was arrested at Sherman Oaks Hospital on Sunday for investigation of a state Health and Safety Code violation, a felony. Lazo, who lives in suburban Reseda, was released after posting $20,000 bail, and he must appear in court on Feb. 11. There is no attorney of record and no telephone listing for Lazo. Someone at the San Fernando...

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El DeBarge

For your Friday night enjoyment I've arranged a little viewing pleasure. This is El Debarge. If you don't remember them, well, screw you....

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