Reasons South African World Cup will be a disaster.

1. Muslims. Islamic extremists will be frothing at their mouths with so many infidels gathered in such close quarters. Obviously, South Africa is unable to thwart an attack. 2. HIV11% of all South Africans are infected with HIV/AIDS. If I were going, which I wouldn't, but if I were, but there's no chance in hell, I would wear one of those full body condoms from Naked Gun 3. Xenophobia"The word is that criminals want to make cash to spend during...

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It was just a matter of time...

About three years ago, Tom Cruise lost his mind on Oprah's couch. It was almost career suicide. Almost. Well he's back. Tom Cruise is simply one of those people that have "it". Even when you want to hate him, you can't. His new movie with Cameron Diaz will be a smash hit. HUGE. Until then though, he's gonna spend some time reprising his role as Les Grossman, from Tropic Thunder for the MTV movie awards. If you don't think this character is brilliant, you're a pitiful excuse for a human being. MTV ShowsMTV Sh...

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Steve Blake, I mean Robby Bostain, wins a championship

Robby Bostain, the taller, less predatory less lion-like brother of Chris Bostain, I think, according to the video at least, won a championship somewhere in Europe. The crowd is wicked excited, but unless you're one of the 7 people in the world that still speak Dutch, I can't understand a damn word this play-by-play guy is saying. Props to Robby though, despite what he's listed at (cough) 6'6", his realistic 6'4" seemed to rise into the rafters...

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Less fortunate?

Please someone, tell me what less fortunate mea...

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Great pick...for a Socialist.

In a June 2009 interview in Biotechnology Healthcare, Berwick was asked: "Critics of CER (Comparative Effectiveness Research) have said that it will lead to rationing of health care."He answered: "We can make a sensible social decision and say, 'Well, at this point, to have access to a particular additional benefit [new drug or medical intervention] is so expensive that our taxpayers have better use for those funds.' We make those decisions all the...

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How you know God has a sense of humor...

Audrina Patridge is just one of the many chicks that defy the laws of celebrity. She has no talent, she basically has no job, and she is an epic butterface. Even though my friend Chris would characterize this as, "Smoke", I'm pretty sure this is why the term butter face was brought about. I guess her face isn't awful, it's just her body is sooo good, her face pales in comparison. She better enjoy it while it lasts because in two years, instead...

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Can it really keep getting better...

This cat was sent to the clink for child molestation and being in the country illegally. Don't let the democrats hear about this one though; After all, immigration laws are meant to be brok...

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People Never Cease to Amaze Me...

MAY 19--Meet Joshua Dawson. The Arkansas man, 24, last week allegedly arranged what he thought was going to be a sexual liaison with a 13-year-old girl he had met on the Internet. During an online chat (Dawson's Yahoo handle is 'biggoo76'), he "exposed himself using a web cam and offered sex" to, of course, an undercover officer with the Mayflower Police Department, according to investigators. After arranging to meet the girl, Dawson stopped at a...

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May 20th is Draw Muhammad day!!!

Don't draw Muhammad because some 20 something middle class middle eastern man will track you down and do his best to kill you...but don't profile. I'm 5'10 205 lbs of twisted steel with blonde hair and I'm quite sure people that put bombs in cars in Times Square, fly planes into buildings, and sneak bombs into their shoes don't look like me. In fact, they look a lot like this. Islam is about as peaceful as hungry genital crabs. The fact that...

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14:57, 14:58, 14:59, DING!

Like I've been saying for at least a year, Megan Fox's insufferable behavior has finally been reigned in by someone. When I say reigned in, I mean fired and when I say someone, I mean the only man responsible for making her famous, Michael Bay. Megan Fox is attractive, but there's thousands of hotter girls in Hollywood willing to do ANYTHING for a chance at Michael Bay blockbusters...and by the way, they're undoubtedly infinitely more talented...

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Kelly Brook caught deciding whether my face is an adequate seat for her

I'm not sure what it is, but British women are so hot they'll make you sacrifice babies. I guess Elizabeth Hurley led the way in the 90's, but her hotness has been dwarfed by girls like Kate Beckinsale, Cheryl Cole, Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna, Abigail Clancy, Keira Knightley, Billie Piper, Danielle Lloyd, Jennifer Ellison, Sienna Miller, Gemma Atkinson, and Keeley Hazell. Anyway, here is Kelly Brook doing what she does best...punishing me by her...

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You're hot...wait, who are you again?

Amanda Seyfried has been in big movies for a while now. I just realized like three weeks ago, she was in Mean Girls. I mean, that was made so long ago, Lindsay Lohan was famous. My point is this: who in the hell is Amanda Seyfried? I'm not sure who she is, but I'm quite sure why she's famous. You see, there's something very marketable about young, vivacious, blonde chicks that have no reservations about taking off their clothes "for the right...

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My life is complete.

Starlight Entertainment has hit the home run of home runs by hiring this guy. I would bet three grand he's either from the Jersey Shore or Philadelphia. Then again, he could be the lead singer of the band from Old School and The Hangover. The acute transition from "The Conga Line," to "In the Air Tonight" is simply brilliant. If you don't watch this video at least 5 times, I hate you....

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He's better than anyone on AI right now.

If this kid is even interested, he'll get more ass than a toilet se...

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Maxim Magazine has their finger on the pulse of the American Man.

Nothing on earth, besides Beyonce, Tyra Banks, Sean Hannity, and Meryl Streep, annoys me more than Maxim magazine. Actually, it's any mens magazine for that matter. How out-of-touch can you be with your target audience. It's almost like the editors of mens magazines are getting consulted by the Republican Party because neither have a clue to whom they're marketing. I don't have one ounce of homophobia, but I'm pretty sure every editor for Maxim,...

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Somebody been eatin' deep fried pasta cake

In 2007, Elisha Cuthbert played a porn star in Girl Next Door, where she moves in next door to a dorky high school kid and falls in love with him. Most importantly, in 2007 she looked like this:and like this:As you can tell from the picture below, Elisha must have moved because the girl living next door now is fat. I just don't get girls in Hollywood. Basically, the only thing they have to do is exercise, eat right and continue to look good and...

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Jennifer Anniston is an effortless beauty

Jennifer Anniston should wake up every day and thank her lucky stars that Brad Pitt got drunk one night and decided to love her. If it weren't for him, she would be David Schwimmer or Matt LeBlanc. It's no wonder she can't get over him and orchestrates herself to cover magazines that he might read like, Architectural Digest. Remove her rhinoplasty and she's this: (UH O...

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Ch...Ch...Ch...Chia

Socialite, make-believe actor, and notorious butter-face, Audrina Patridge, has finally realized her stock should be shorted and has settled for a relationship with her male unfamous counterpart, Ryan Cabrerra. At least she knows her place on the evolutionary ladder of reproductive fitness. Every single time she leaves her house, I bet she refers to her Post-It note attached to her fridge: Accentuate expensive drips of golden silicone honey to...

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Am I the only one that doesn't get it...?

First if all, I have no effing clue who Christina Hendricks is...seriously. Second of all, if she was some smoking hot girl, I wouldn't care because I could still appreciate hotness within the enigma of anonymity. Except honestly, I've never seen this chick once unless her GINORMOUS breasts were accentuated up to her chin and her ridiculous red hair colored to a red found only in Crayola 128. She's just a walking hyperbole of what a woman should...

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Blake Lively is kinda pretty...and by kinda...I mean VERY.

If you wake up everyday and stare into the mirror and looking back at you is someone on the Hills, pretending to be famous, your life sucks. It sucks mainly because you're on minute 14.8 of 15. Aside from that though, it sucks because you're a twenty something trying your best to exploit your 9 body and 6 face while hiding lack of talent, which by the way, isn't working...we can see you have no talent. I bet 100 dollars every one of those chicks,...

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Tyra Banks is a comedic genius... P.s. Nice outfit.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.I actually can't believe my eyes. I work hard everyday in the trenches and this woman is a celebrity. This woman is a model. It makes me physically ill to think that Tyra Banks is a millionaire. It also makes me physically ill to watch her salivate all over her audience. I would punch her in the face and rip off her weave if she did this to me. Behavior like that is something you see cannibal savages in Papua New Guinea do...not people with their own television show. I would have loved...

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